When Money Problems Are Actually Mental Health Problems
What Chelsea Fagan Taught Us About Financial Anxiety
In light of current economic instability (need I say more?) this week, Sam and I have an incredibly timely episode with Chelsea Fagan of the Financial Diet.
If "be better with money" was on your resolution list this year, you're definitely not alone. But before you download another budgeting app, you might want to hear what Chelsea Fagan has to say about why most of us struggle with our finances.
We thought we'd talk about saving more and spending less, but instead ended up diving into everything from the psychology of online shopping to how our childhood experiences shape our relationship with money.
The Hello Kitty Visa Origin Story
Chelsea's financial journey started where many of ours did – with debt and shame. She told us how immediately after high school, she took out a Hello Kitty branded Visa credit card, maxed it out, threw it away, and got into a cycle of compulsive spending and debt.
What struck me most was how she talked about growing up in a low-income background but then living in a very affluent area as a teen. When her family was lower-middle class in a wealthy town, she actually felt poorer because of the social comparisons.
I think many of us can relate to that feeling – how our relationship with money is shaped more by who we're comparing ourselves to than our actual numbers.
Why Money Management Isn't Actually About Math
One thing Chelsea said that really struck me was how the actual money part is the least important piece of financial wellness. The math is simple – spend less than you earn. That's it. Congratulations, you've graduated!
The hard part is everything else – the social, emotional, and mental aspects that make up about 90% of our financial behavior.
This hit hard because I've seen this with therapy clients too. When your basic financial needs aren't met, nothing else in therapy matters much. You can't have stable mental health if you're financially unstable.
Our Brains vs. The Marketing Machine
Our entire digital ecosystem has been meticulously engineered to override our financial self-control.
Think about it: fast fashion brands dropping new collections weekly, one-click purchasing, buy-now-pay-later options popping up at checkout, targeted ads that somehow know exactly what you were just thinking about buying. These features weren't designed for our financial wellbeing – they were created to bypass our rational decision-making.
The rise of social media has made this even worse. We're constantly bombarded with influencers showcasing seemingly attainable lifestyles that are actually funded by brand deals and corporate partnerships.
The line between authentic recommendations and paid promotion has become nearly invisible.
These systems are specifically designed to trigger quick-hit dopamine cycles – the same neurological pathways activated by other addictive behaviors. Each purchase gives us a little high, which fades quickly, leaving us needing another fix.
No wonder willpower alone isn't enough. Our brains are literally up against billions in research designed to make us spend.
Practical Money Steps That Actually Work
If you're feeling stuck with your finances, Chelsea shared several practical approaches that helped her turn things around:
Use external guardrails at first: In the early stages of your financial journey, don't be afraid to set up physical barriers. This might mean having someone else hold your credit cards, deleting shopping apps from your phone, or setting up automatic transfers so money moves to savings before you can spend it.
Start with just looking: The simplest but most powerful step is just regularly looking at your accounts. Don't judge yourself, don't make a plan yet – just get comfortable facing the reality of your numbers. This small habit alone often creates the motivation to take further action.
Get a bird's eye view: Use a comprehensive money management tool to see all your accounts in one place. This helps you think more holistically about your finances instead of compartmentalizing different aspects.
Consider professional help if you can afford it: A financial advisor isn't just for the wealthy. If managing money takes up significant mental bandwidth for you, outsourcing this task to a professional can be worth the cost. They can prevent you from making impulsive decisions and keep you on track.
Practice patience with investments: Most wealth-building happens through leaving investments alone for very long periods. This goes against our instinct that more action equals better results, but with investing, the opposite is often true.
Where Do We Go From Here?
Chelsea brings so much nuance to topics that are often painted in black and white online. Money isn't just about dollars and cents – it's about psychology, society, and the systems we live in.
But at the same time, we still have personal responsibility within those systems. There's a difference between acknowledging that things are difficult for us and deciding they're impossible.
What's one small money step you could take this week? Even if it's just looking at your accounts without judgment?
Check out the full episode with Chelsea where we dive deeper into:
How social media has warped our perception of wealth
The real issue with "girl math" content
Why Chelsea thinks most online money advice comes from scammers
The connection between financial stability and mental health
Check out The Financial Diet on YouTube and Chelsea has an incredible Tiktok. She also is the author of two novels!!
As always, we’ve love to hear from you. What did you think of the episode?
xx, Amanda & Sam