How to ACTUALLY change

When you know you need to but don't know how

Hi friends! This week's episode was about Taylor Swift and whether we have a right to feel joy right now. There’s a lot of takes about this already on substack and we didn’t really want to add to the noise. So, we pulled an old episode from our archives to turn into a helpful mental health guide for you!

The internet loves to tell you that change is simple. Decide and do it! Set boundaries! Choose yourself! Anyone who's tried to make real change knows it's way more complicated than that. Whether you're thinking about ending a relationship, switching careers, moving somewhere new, or changing patterns in your mental health, the process is messy, uncomfortable, and nothing like those inspiring Instagram posts suggest.

The Myth That Keeps You Stuck (And Why Anxiety Isn't Your Enemy)

Here's what I see happen over and over: people think they need to feel good about a decision before they make it. They wait for that moment of absolute clarity, complete confidence, or total excitement. They think anxiety means they're making a mistake.

But…. that's not how change works. Sorry.

Change involves a jump. There's a gap between where you are and where you're going, and no amount of research, pros and cons lists, or data gathering will eliminate that leap. You don't get to feel certain first. You have to be willing to feel uncertain and move anyway.